Vanishing Act

Where have all the pubes gone? They were around for centuries and millennia, thick with curls and dark against light skins, sometimes pleasing to eye and sometimes an irritant in the mouth, but they were there. But in the last decade or so, they seem to have been eradicated faster than the bubonic plague and gone out of fashion like anyone who is dead.

When I was a teenager, it didn’t matter where I saw genitalia. Be it in a mainstream or pornographic film, or the accidental flash of living flesh, pubic hair was standard issue. It somehow always added a sense of tingly mystery to what had been only a fantasy at the time. The first couple of women who were generous enough to allow me close to their privates, thankfully, also kept their hair in place. I say thankfully because if they were entirely hairless, I would have probably felt cheated. Think about it: you spend years in frenzied fantasies, frantic hands driving you in to a fever, foaming and frothing, sometimes firm and at others flaccid, but always, always, there being hair. And one day, you suddenly see that reality is only too different. It’s like always imagining Jesus to be a long-haired dude with a scraggly beard, only to travel back in time and find him a metrosexual man, clean-shaven and short hair spiked with oodles of sparkly gel.

What happened to pubes? Why did it suddenly become an enemy of the body-state? Is pornography to blame? Or does it merely cater to what the people want? Do people actually get so influenced by pornography? Or is it something else entirely? Some sort of a new-fangled hygiene principle because people are too lazy to wash themselves properly? Or they never feel clean, no matter how much they wash themselves, on account of all the filth they always wallow in?

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against a hairless pussy (feelings on hairless scrota overwhelmed by awe for the masochistic dedication involved), smooth as a baby’s bum per se. (No, I am not into or in to babies’ bums.) But only as a part of a variety of dos. You don’t go around all life long with the same hair style on your head, do you? Why mete out that fate to your other mop of hair then? And even at that, bald? Seriously?